The past few nights my son has woken up at 11:30 calling for me. I can’t pretend to be supermom and say that I gleefully get out of bed, looking forward to spending some time with him. Frankly, it’s usually right around that time that I’ve just fallen asleep, exhausted from a full day of work, daycare drop off/pick up, laundry, more work, and prep for the next day of daycare. I sort of roll out of bed and grumble about not getting enough sleep.
But everything seems to change by the time I reach the top of the stairs. My grouchy, self-centered mood is miraculously transformed by my unconditional love for this little person who just needs his mama.
Last night was no exception. I finished up my work at 11:15, and just crawled into bed, hoping to catch 4 hours of shut-eye before my 3:30 wake up call to get my butt to the airport for a business trip. I have to admit that I was kind of glad to get upstairs and see my baby boy one more time before leaving for four days.
We changed his PJs (his nighttime pull up had leaked) to get him warm and comfy and snuggled into one another. He fell asleep instantly, his hand resting on my chest so he’d know if I tried to move. We had his Fisher Price “birds” playing – a musical light up globe that had been his since he was a baby. It cast a faint light across his bed, allowing me to soak him all in.
His breathing getting quieter and quieter, I laid there and watched my baby boy sleep. Peaceful, content, innocent, loving – you could see it all in his face and his twitching eyes.
24 hours later, I’m on the West coast for business, with three long days ahead of me until I get snuggles with my beloved son. I know I’m going to wake up in the middle of the night tonight wishing to hear him call out for me. It’s a great reminder to me that even though I may be sleep deprived, a bit frustrated at times, and never have the time I really need to keep myself balanced, that these times are fleeting, and I have to enjoy the moments I have where “mama” is at the center of his world.
So I’m going to slow down and take it all in. And while I can’t promise that I’m not going to still grumble when I’m awoken from a much-needed sleep, I can promise that I am going to enjoy those moments once I reach the top of the stairs.